Monday, November 19, 2007

The Strange Thing Is...

I'm reading this review of various vegetarian/vegan restaurants in San Francisco (because of the Bean & FGN). I'm very tempted to try Millennium. I love evoo, which is always pushing the balls against the wall with the myriad ingredients in their dishes. When they pull it off, the food sings and I'm having Sally-fits and declaring my undying love. As some of you have witnessed, I'm pledged to the chicken at Sel de le Terre...but possibly running off with the spaghetti bolognese at The Grotto. Seriously, I'm leading two entrees on. Possibly it's indicative of my commitment issues, but dammit! what if there's something better out there?



If you haven't guessed, I'm not a vegetarian...not even a 90% one. But, the food description of Millennium is so veddy, veddy tempting. Plus, I like fruits and vegetables...as long as they haven't been dried up to look like animal fetuses. I once bought a bag of nutritious, healthy fruit for snacking purposes. Imagine my surprise when I opened the bag and felt like I had just entered Gil Grissom's office. Yuck. Anyway, doesn't this sound delish?

"Such is Mr. Tucker's skill that the food at Millennium attains a gustatory cohesion not suggested by the eclectic ingredients. The shredded Indian Red peach salad ($8.95) — which, besides tender peaches, included baby heirloom lettuce, green papaya, chili-dusted peanuts, and the sweet zing of a light Thai lime leaf dressing — blossoms on the tongue like a bouquet."
So, Mr. Gregory Dicum has me completely dug in and drooling, and then he hits me with a slap to the face. He describes the experience that is Cafe Gratitude, possibly the most touchy-feely, let's-love-one-another-right-now place outside of Oprah's television studio.

"The restaurant's décor is derived from a board game developed by the owners and built into each table. It encourages diners to express gratitude for one another and for the bounty the universe has bestowed upon anyone likely to walk in the door. After seating us, the hostess looked in our eyes and asked, 'What's great about today?'"

Plus, dishes are named things like "I Am Succulent" and "I Am Rich." Ugh. I would so vomit. Normally, this kind of attitude would cause spitting and violence on my part. The strange thing is...the food sounds like it might be worth enduring this disgusting display of "goodness." Almond hummus with raw garlic? Yumm. The juices sound fantastic, too. If I'm in San Francisco, I might try this place. But, I'm going to act crazier than a rabid dog. Tin foil hat to keep out alien transmissions, barking like a dog, and a necklace of fingers. And, they'll have to accept it because they're such loving hippies.

Q: "What's great about today?"
A: "I peed without blood."

Catch the rest of the article, "Expanding the Frontiers of the Vegetarian Plate," on http://www.nytimes/. It's brought to you by American Express.


1 comment:

sarah said...

you know, you can just get the millennium cookbook (or better yet, have the library get it) and recreate their foodz at home. i'd do that but i'm too lazy. also, if you ever go to san francisco you should eat at cha ya, so good. speaking (or writing) of vegan food, i ate at a raw food restaurant in toronto called live. i was totally skeptical at first but it was so tasty that i'm completely won over.